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    10 Lesson I’ve learned From My Bulldog

    J.R. Greene
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    10 Lesson I’ve learned From My Bulldog

    Last January I was able to check off an item on my bucket list, and that was to have an English Bulldog.  My logic behind wanting a bulldog probably wasn’t the soundest, I am a Georgia Bulldogs football fan (Go Dawgs!) and I wanted a little cuddle buddy since my husky, JR Cash isn’t too big in sleeping on the couch next to me or hanging around the bedroom. 

    But nonetheless, I got one and he is awesome.  I named him Roy after my favorite comedy TV series that takes place in England.  Richmond to be more precise.  Yep, Ted Lasso!  I mean you can’t waste opportunities like this! 

    When I got Roy I was assuming he was going to be a sleepy, fat, and lazy puppy.  Not true at all.  And if you think that about English Bulldogs, you should probably do what I should have done beforehand and research them a little as well as watch Instagram Reels.    This brings me to the first thing Roy has taught me

    Let People Underestimate You

    As I mentioned before, I was not expecting a strong-willed, high-strung bulldog.  I was thinking Roy would be sleeping 23 out of 24 hours a day only to get up to eat and use the outdoor plumbing.  Instead, I got a puppy (all dogs are puppies and I will fight you in you disagree) full of energy and who is strong-willed and determined. 

    Love Unconditionally

    I love Roy he is awesome, but sometimes his “bull” headiness (see what I did there?) gets him into some trouble.  So he will get a lecture and me raising my voice at him.  And he does not like that at all.  I’ve never seen a dog so tough yet be such a baby. 

    Even after I’m done yelling at him, he still comes up to me and licks me (apparently that’s a sign of affection for dogs) and still wants to be around me.  He doesn’t protest in the corner or sleep with Cash, nope he plots his butt on the pillow next to me, or on my lap as if nothing has happened.  He knows I love him and thankfully he doesn’t hold a grudge!

    Protect Those Who You Love

    So Roy is very protective of me when it comes to others touching me.  I’ve been known to have a lady friend stay over every once and a while.  Roy always makes sure we leave enough room for the holy spirit (if you went to a junior high catholic dance in the 90s that makes total sense to you). 

    Roy also when others are around will lay over my neck to make sure it is not exposed.  I’m assuming this has something to do with the DNA of the bulldogs and protecting a weak point in the human body. 

    While yes it does get to be too much but this little guy will protect me at all costs, and I love him for that. 

    Take Pride in What you Have

    Roy is so proud of this red ball he has.  And you will hear a lot about this ball throughout this article.  But every time he sees someone at the office or my home he is so proud of this 2/3 chewed-up ball that is probably bacteria affected and just gross. 

    But he is so proud of this ball, and all the “work” he has done with the ball making it almost non-existent.  But he will show it to everyone and is so proud of it.  But don’t you try to touch it!  Unless he is willing to share (and I wouldn’t count on that!)

    Worry About What You Want

    Roy worries about two things (3 if he is “protecting” me), his red ball and eating.   Roy will knock you over, knock it out of your hands,  jump,  or do whatever he needs to do to get what he wants.  You could say he’s “bullheaded”. 

    I’ve watched him go through my other dog, Cash.  Knock tables over, jump on tables, and more to get what he was zoned in on.  It’s like the rest of the world disappeared and the only thing that matters is what he wanted. 

    He has the ultimate focus.  And it was usually that red Kong ball.

    Share The Things You Love

    Except for when it comes to food, Roy will share with me his prized possession, his red ball.  But not all the time.    One day I’m sitting on the couch having a drink and he comes up to me with the red ball in his mouth and he wanted to sit next to me.  So he drops the ball in my drink in exchange for cuddles.  (Yes I finished the drink)  It was too perfect of a hit not to! 

    And most nights when we go to bed, he will take the ball and drop it on me in bed so he can find his way next to me.  He doesn’t try to take the ball back, he just wants me to have it.    It’s rather cute! 

    Be You

    Roy doesn’t care what others think or do, Roy does what Roy wants to do.  He wants to jump on you to get your attention, he’s jumping,  He wants to play with his ball he will.  Roy lives his best life not worrying about others’ judgment or actions, he does what he wants to do and is 100% his authentic self. 

    He wants love and affection from you but you are giving it to another person or dog, he doesn’t care he’s climbing in between and getting what he wants!

    While we have worked on some obedience training. Like sit, stay, and wait, but at the end of the day, he will be himself.

    Slow and steady makes progress

    When Roy has to put a little strategy into getting what he wants,  and this is usually when we go to sleep he wants to be touching me.  While I prefer to sleep without a dog on me he prefers to be touching me. 

    So at night, he starts off on his side of the bed, on his pillows, and little by little he makes his way over to my side of the bed and onto my pillows.  And before I wake up the next morning I am big spooning  Roy (if I’m lucky) and if not I have his butt in my face. 

    When I first got him, he would just try and sleep on my pillow and it never worked out for him.  But when he goes slow and steady… it worked for him.

    Protect yourself

    When Roy starts acting up he might get a bop on the bum or nose (or both).   And sometimes he doesn’t not like that, and I don’t blame him.  One day he was going a little nuts and acting out. 

    So I try to take a towel and do one of the whipping things.  

    He did not like that.

    So when I went to snap him, he tried to grab the towel to stop me.   Well, he ended up getting my arm instead.  Roy does not have cat-like reflexes.   I couldn’t even be mad at him.  What did he do wrong?  He was protecting himself from me when our roughhousing got to be a little much. 

    Cuddle With The One You Love. 

    Every night and even during the day, Roy will always find himself on my lap or next to me.  When I’m on the couch Roy is either on my lap or next to me waiting for the laptop to be put down so he can climb on my lap.   When we go to bed and before we wake up the next morning he is right there next to me.  

    Every night even when he is mad at me for not letting him steal a second dinner, or when he goes crazy with his ball,  we always go to bed the same way. 

    While Roy maybe just a dog to most, but he is more than that.  Roy has been able in the past year to help me be better at my personal and professional relationships by how we interact.  We all have the ability to learn from others and from other creatures as well.  We just have to open our eyes, be honest with ourselves and take time to reflect on what we see and hear. 

    How can some of the lessons I’ve learned from Roy help you?

    “I Want to Help Others Get the Most Out of Life”

    J.R. Greene
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    “I Want to Help Others Get the Most Out of Life”

    It was Friday night. I’m driving to pick up my date for the night and I just began bawling my eyes out as I was on the phone with Frank.  I was overwhelmed with emotion thinking how Frank had done more for my uncle than I’d done in my 40 years. My emotions were running high for four reasons. 

    First: Thinking about how someone like Frank who has no ties or even knew Todd (my uncle) was able to get so much done for him.  Frank was able to secure stable housing in Akron for him, as well as set him up with daily meals. To top it off, every couple of weeks he goes down there to talk to him, and give him a roll of quarters for laundry. 

    That kind of caring you don’t see anymore (at least I haven’t). Think about it.  How often have you helped someone like this?  Frank is the life partner of one of my mom’s best friends and one of her former work colleagues.  I was floored by the effort he gave my uncle. It was selfless. He didn’t want anything in return from Todd or the residence. 

    Second: I was disappointed in myself for not doing anything when I had the chance and means for Todd or my father’s other brother, Brad, while he was alive.  To be honest, I felt like a piece of shit.  Keep in mind, I’m very hard on myself. So when I reflect on things I could have done when I had the chance but did nothing, I beat myself up pretty well about it. 

    Third: I was so thankful for the parents I was blessed to be born to.  As I saw my uncle for the second time ever, he looked just like my dad. It dawned on me how my father is part of the 1% to get out of poverty.  My dad’s family didn’t even have a car until he was 18 and never took a vacation until my dad moved out and was in college. 

    My grandfather worked hard, but as my dad says “He never did anything with it. He would work twice as hard as I [my dad] did”, and my father is the hardest worker I have ever seen.  My grandfather helped get his older brother, my great-uncle, get a law degree and become something with his life. My great-uncle never repaid the favor when he could. 

    Fourth: Knowing how hard my dad worked to provide such a great life for me and my sister, and for me to essentially fuck everything up by believing and trusting others really hit hard on Friday.  Not so much that I lost millions, money can be made again and again, but that I was unable to help and support my family like I want to. That is what hurt. 

    If you saw the title of this blog “I want to help others get the most out of life”, I wrote that down on a piece of paper Friday night after my date while again I was full of tears.  At that point, I felt like I hit rock bottom. I put myself in a position where I was unable to help others and I didn’t like that. 

    Growing up, and even to this day, I have taken for granted things that probably 90% of this world hasn’t experienced. Things like traveling, college, luxuries and so much more.  Knowing what I know now about how short this life is, I want to help family and friends to be able to have some of these experiences I have had.  More specifically I want to make sure my family can enjoy experiences like I have and more. 

    What has changed? 

    For starters, I’m making more of an effort to be involved with the rest of my family.  My mother was never really a fan of my dad’s brothers. She has her reasons, and I let her bias affect my feelings toward them.  I didn’t get the same feelings she did, but it’s not like she’s right and I am wrong.  She has had different experiences than I have with my dad’s brothers, and she probably isn’t sharing everything with me.  I try my best to only judge folks on the experiences I have had with them and not hearsay. 

    Todd wanted to get a reading chair but as he said, “finding chairs is easy but getting them back here is hard.”  This is where I can help.  I have a large truck that can easily haul a chair! 

    I was telling my mom and sister about meeting Todd. My sister has never met him but feels like me about wanting to help.  So she was able to donate a chair and coffee table to him. Even my mom (like I said, not the biggest fan) had a rocking chair, as well as a box full of kitchen supplies for him. 

    My sister and I also are looking into getting minor-league baseball tickets.  Frank, Todd, my dad, and my sister all love baseball so it seems like a good outing for them.  I am not the biggest baseball fan, but I am a fan of spending time with family.

    While you can’t change the past, you can change the direction you head in the future.  This simple encounter made me want to get involved. My passion and effort got my sister and even my mother to want to get more involved in helping. 

    One act of kindness can be multiplied that easily.  If any of you feel like you are just one person, with limited means and/or access, don’t let that discourage you.  Just start doing something and watch as it is multiplied.

    My plans don’t stop here.  I’m hoping to take my uncle to some BBQs, and dinners, and maybe even on some trips.  It’s never too late to start doing the right thing.  Just like what Ted Lasso said, “Doing the Right Thing Is Never the Wrong Thing”. 

    Life is NOT Black and White.

    J.R. Greene
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    Life is NOT Black and White.
    Life is NOT Black and White written by JR Greene

    I was listening to the radio the other day and heard the DJ say “I’m in the middle, so I have the left and the right hating on me”.  In today’s environment, nothing has been truer. You see it if you scroll down Facebook or any other social media platform and you probably don’t have to scroll too far to see an aggressive post on politics, the media, life, or just about anything else you can think of.  The aggression of their comments can be felt as to whether or not you agree with what they say. If you are not 100% in agreement with them, they will write “delete me”.   

    The funny thing about this is when you talk to these same “friends” in the real world outside of social media, they are not nearly as aggressive in their speech.  When an actual conversation happens, you are able to discuss your points, your opinions, and your facts, and their absolutes are not so absolute.  However, on social media, if you comment your opinion on their post, just forget about it, the wrath of God is going to strike down on you for not agreeing.   

    When I talk to my friends and my family, and anyone else I come in contact with I never 100% agree with one person, but if I support a Politian it is automatically assumed that I agree with everything they say, do, and believe.   My question to you is: Why is the culture like this?   

    The simple answer is we are programmed to be extreme in order to get attention.  The news doesn’t put people on who are not outraged, provoked, or that are level-headed.  They want eyes in from of their media have it be the television, print, or digital, and we fall victim to it.   And the best and easiest way for them to do this is to have extreme opinions being discussed to promote fear.

    I challenge you to look in your own life and beliefs to see if all the extremism and absolutes actually trigger you or you just want to look tough.  Or is it something else?  Do you think you have to be outraged because someone disagrees with you?  Nothing in life is that black and white.   If everything you read that isn’t 100% what you believe triggers you, I challenge you to find out what really is a trigger for you and find a way to cope with your triggers.  Not everything that is said or done should trigger you.  Not every hot topic out there like abortion, gun control, democrat, republican, shouldn’t trigger extreme hatred by you just because someone has a conflicting opinion.  You give me 10 things you believe in or believe to be right and I assure you on at least half of them I won’t feel the same way.  Doesn’t that make me your enemy?  Does that give you the right to talk down to me?  Does that give you the right to instill your opinion as my own?   

    Let’s take an example of killing. Is killing a human always wrong?  If I ask 100 people this question I bet you majority would not answer me by a simple yes or no.  Let’s assume though that you answered me with an enthusiastic yes.  Yes! Killing someone is always wrong.  My response is: What if someone was attempting to kill me, am I not allowed to fight back and protect myself? If by protecting myself the other person dies, was that wrong of me to protect myself?  Even our legal system in the United States has different degrees of punishment for killing someone.  If it was a death by intention or accident plays into the sentence.   

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